An Inner Peace

So I've been listening to "The Shack," by William P. Young, on my IPod again. This is probably the 5th or 6th time I've listened to it. Every time I hear something new in it. It is such a well written, painful and healing story. It's kind of like "Dinner with a Perfect Stranger" and "Day with a Perfect Stranger." I can listen to those two stories over and over again because they deal with something that is very near and dear to my heart. That is the love of the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Friday is the BIG day - the day of my colonoscopy. I feel like I'm in prison tonight and having my last meal. My wonderful husband made homemade jambalya. It was heavenly. I've been on Weight Watchers going on two weeks and have really been diligent about counting everything I put into my mouth. This week I've wanted to chuck it all and say "Well heck, I'm not eating on Thursday or half a day Friday. So I can eat anything I want!" Then reality hits (and my want, need, desire, whatever) and I realize that I really do want to be healthy again, and the first step to good health is losing this excess weight. So I pray through. I went back for seconds tonight and then put the plate away. I wasn't hungry. I was just...well....ticked off that I can't eat tomorrow! LOL!! Then I think to those kids in Burundi where our church is doing mission work. How they may go for days without as much as a piece of bread. And I know then that my "sacrifice" of one and half days of food is just uncomfortable - not deadly.

So anyway, back to the colonoscopy. I am no longer afraid of the results......Let me say that again.....I AM NO LONGER AFRAID OF THE RESULTS!! God has given me this amazing peace going into this process. I have felt better than I have in a long time the last few weeks (other then terrible allergies). But it's more than that. God has come to me and has put His arms around me, sat me on His broad lap, and just held me close to Him. I've felt it.....HIM.....every day. Something tells me that the results are going to be no big deal. But even if they aren't and we find an actual reason for the bleeding that I experienced earlier in the year (which I haven't had since mid-July), then God is preparing me to take whatever journey that He has in store for me. I know that He will be with me every step of the way.

If you haven't read "The Shack" I strongly encourage you to pick it up. There is a message that you need to hear somewhere in that book. This time I took away just that point.....That God is with me ALWAYS. No matter what I go through in life, big or small, He has NEVER left me and He will NEVER leave me. I have that assurance......and so I have this peace.

Results on Friday!!

Until then.....