Happy Thanksgiving....Remembering

I miss my dad today. I can't deny that today of all days. This was the beginning of "his season". It's been almost a year since he went home to be with the Lord. Sometimes it feels like it has been forever. Other times it sneaks up on me and seems like it was just yesterday. Some of the feelings came back yesterday when we found out that Wayne Haston had passed away. Too many memories of this time last year. Today we pass the "last of the firsts." This is the last holiday we will celebrate for the first time without Dad.

I don't think any of us realized how much Dad pulled this holiday together for us. He made the turkey. He made the stuffing. He brought the pies. He made the gravy......the gravy. Kelly and Mike volunteered to fry a turkey this year instead of the traditional baked turkey. We all thought that would be a great idea. Kelly called me a couple of weeks ago and said "Oh no. We won't have drippings to make the gravy!" So I volunteered TJ. We are making a baked turkey breast for Mandy and Terri since they love to "shread" their turkey. So we'll have drippings. TJ will take care of the gravy. Problem solved.....or are they? Kelly and I split up Thanksgiving dinner. They are making the turkey, rice, stuffing, sweet potatos, cranberries and rolls (I hope she remembered the rolls!). We are making the turkey breast, the gravy, the green bean casserole, the potato casserole, the rice dressing, the cornbread dressing, and the pies. Well at 8:30 last night I remembered that I hadn't bought the pies!! Well, one thing that I am VERY thankful for this holiday is the fact that Kroger is open Thanksgiving morning for morons like me! And I told them that I was thankful that they would give up their holiday to work for stupid people like me! They laughed. So tragedy averted.

As this holiday got closer, I began to miss Dad more and more. I have kind of moved into my own little pity party the last day or two (no one really noticed....I just got quiet) missing him. I thought about all of the things I wouldn't have this season. When we were little, we would wake up Thanksgiving morning to the smells of Thanksgiving dinner. At 6:00 AM (yes I said AM), Dad would put the Christmas music on full blast. We'd wake up to those glorious smells and wander into the kitchen yawning and rubbing our eyes. Dad would either have gone and gotten donuts or he would have his big frying pan out cooking us a big breakfast. All day long, we'd hear Dad singing to his Christmas songs.

Last night I went to bed knowing that my Thanksgiving would never be the same again. But of course, God had another plan as only He can. My dear husband got up at 5:00 this morning and began cooking. I woke to those same smells of my childhood. I snuck to the kitchen doorway and just watched him for awhile. For just a moment I was carried back to my childhood. There he was with pots in both hands and a big smile on his face. He was my dad. The only thing missing was the Christmas music. That was rectified by the time I got back from the grocery store (read about the pies above).

What I realize is that my dad is here with us.....in the food.....in the music.....in the traditions that we are so quick to cling to. I have not lost my dad. He is here in everything.

So today of all days, be thankful for what you have and for what you don't have. There is a much greater plan. You can be assured of that.

Happy Thanksgiving.....until later.....

Wondering where God is going with this....

So I got some pretty sad news today. My friend, Wayne Haston, who is a fellow chairman of a Corral Club at the rodeo is probably not going to make it. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer on the first day of rodeo last year. He went through treatment pretty successfully. But now, they've found it in his brain. They started radiation last week, but the tumors have not responded so they stopped treatment today. At this point, they are keeping him comfortable, but for all intents and purposes, his journey in this world is done.

So now I go to God and ask my questions....

All of my life, God has given me this gift....I don't even know what to call it. I just know when a situation is going to be okay. And with Wayne, I got the feeling that the situation was going to be okay. Now, I will tell you, that there are times when the situations haven't worked out the way I thought they should be....but in those instances, God has enlightened me to a bigger plan, and has shown me that He did answer my prayers.

I am reminded of one instance in particular. On May 1, 2004, seven of my co-workers at ABB (my client at the time) were gunned down in Yanbu, Saudi Arabia. Five of them died instantly. Two were wounded. One of them, Tom Washburn, was struck in the neck by a bullet. When I got the news that Tom had been shot, I dropped to my knees and said a prayer. I told God that I wanted Tom healed, and I wanted him alive. I told God I was standing on HIS promises that He would answer my prayers. Tom managed to make it back to the states and was in the hospital in the Texas Medical Center. He was regaining feeling in his extremities and things looked good. Then something happened, and he passed away. I sat down at that point and had a talk with God. I said "God, I don't know what is going on here or why You didn't answer my prayers, but I'm going to trust that You will reveal this to me all in time." Obviously part of my prayer had been answered. Tom was healed completely. But he wasn't alive....

At Tom's Memorial service, his girlfriend got up to say his eulogy. She talked about how wonderful Tom was. She talked of his generosity, and the fact that they were establishing an engineering scholarship in his name. Then she said "You might not be surprised to hear that Tom was an organ donor. As a matter of fact, he donated his entire body for this cause. And because of that between 45-50 people have parts of Tom in them. Tom has managed to help that many people LIVE in his death." I was FLOORED. God may not have answered my prayers the way I thought they should be answered, but He had answered them. Tom was alive and walking around in 45-50 people!! I shared this thought with his girlfriend who shared it with his family. I'm told it made them feel blessed.

Anyway, so now I go back to God and I ask Him to reveal to me the meaning in Wayne's condition and probable death. And I know He won't fail me...

Until later...

I feel really dumb, but this was a nice surprise...

You know sometimes you just kind of get lost in your own little world. You don't take the time to stop and see the beauty of God's world. And you don't stop even a little while to listen to the words of a song. I usually listen to KSBJ (contemporary Christian). However, my roots are still in country music. I especially love the Texas singers like Roger Crager, Robert Earl Keen, Gary P. Nunn, and Pat Green. The other day I was listening to the radio and Pat Green's song "Wave on Wave" came on the radio. I have always loved this song. The tempo is very upbeat. Music is my solace, and a good beat will make me want to move. Anyway, I digress....LOL.

Have you ever really listened to the words to "Wave on Wave"? I mean, really listened? I didn't think so. Neither had I. It could very well be a song about God. Read below (and feel free to sing or hum along in your head -- c'mon, you know you want to - LOL).

Mile upon mile got no direction,
We're all playing the same game.
We're all looking for redemption,
Just afraid to say the name.

So caught up now in pretending,
That what we're seekin' is the truth.
I'm just looking for a happy ending,
All I'm looking for is you.

You came upon me wave on wave,
You're the reason I'm still here, yeah
Am I the one you were sent to save?
You came upon me wave on wave.

I wondered out into the water,
And I thought that I might drown.
I dunno what I was after,
I just know I was going down.

That's when you found me,
I'm not afraid anymore.
You said"You know I always had you baby,
Just waitin for you to find what you were looking for."

You came upon me wave on wave,
You're the reason I'm still here.
Am I the one you were sent to save,
When you came upon me wave on wave.

Wave on wave.
Wave on wave.

And you came upon me wave on wave,
You're the reason I'm still here.
Am I the one you were sent to save,
when you came upon me wave on wave.

The clouds broke and the angels cried,
You ain't gotta walk alone,
That's why he put me in your way,
And you came upon me wave on wave.



I'm sure when Pat Green sings it in concert, he's singing it for the general audience and it isn't really a "God Thang" LOL. But it will forever be changed for me.....because I took a minute to really listen.

Until later....

An incredible girl....

Almost 2 years ago, when Community of Faith moved into our permanent home on Becker Road and 290 (Hockley, TX), I met a girl named Ashley. I started helping out with the 3rd-5th grade class on Saturday nights, and Ashley was this ball of energy that helped out too. Pretty soon I started teaching the Saturday night class, and Ashley was right there beside me. She was a freshman in high school at the time, but was one of the most mature "kids" I'd ever met. I learned all about her as we prepared each Saturday for our class. She was on the dance team. She did homework until midnight most nights. She LOVED her friends.

A year ago, when Dad died, I kind of withdrew from my duties at COF. I just needed some time to back up and re-group. I know -- kind of stupid considering my church family could have helped me through that difficult time. I saw Ashley from time to time. We always hugged and it was the same old same old when I saw her. She is an amazing girl, and growing into a beautiful woman.

Last weekend, we had a tailgate party at COF. I saw Ashley and told her to come over to our team to visit. She did and she told me what had been going on in her life. To make a long story short, she has been having episodes with her heart racing for no apparent reason. All tests have shown normal. But her heart still races. It has been very scary for her and her family. This morning, she is having surgery to "test" her heart. And if they find the problem while they are in there, they are going to fix it. I'm praying (and standing on God's promise) that they WILL find what is wrong and fix it. Mainly because Ash has had to stop dancing, and it's killing her! LOL!! No seriously, I really just want this scary time to be over for her and her family. They are amazing people.

Through all of this, the adults around her have been the worriers. It's kind of making her parents crazy according to her mom's update blog that they don't know what is going on (Kim, I can only imagine your angst and I pray for you every day). I asked Ashley last weekend if I could stop and pray for her right where we were and we did. As soon as I released her, I teared up. She looked at me and said "Kristy, it's going to be okay. Really. It's going to be okay." This morning when she was texting me about it, she said it was going to be okay again. Funny that this young lady is holding US up! LOL!

If you read her entries on her mom's blog, you would be amazed. She is so insightful and on fire for God. She states that she knows that God has a purpose for this and that she is going to trust in Him completely. She also talks about not worrying about the storm but dance in the rain! Where did she come from? Oh yes.....she is that once in a lifetime special gift of a person that you know was sent straight from God.

So Ashley (and family), know that you guys are all in our prayers today. TJ and I will be praying often for you today. Even though I know that God has promised it's all going to be fine. I'm still standing on those promises!!

Until later....

Thoughts on Our Country Going Forward

Well, it didn't turn out as I (and 56 million others) would have liked. But Mr. Obama is now our President elect. And with that position comes my support.

The media is already backing up. I find it hysterical to say the least. They are now questioning who Barack Obama is. I mean, come on guys - YOU are the ones that got him elected. NOW you want to question? I've even heard him called "creepy and cult like" by the drive by media.

And really guys, can we lay off Sarah Palin now? Does it really matter about her clothes anymore? REALLY?? Do we need to go there? Ms. Palin is already talking about a run for 2012. My guess is if she doesn't silence herself now, there isn't a chance in heck that the RP will put her up as their candidate.

What I've come to realize in this whole political process is that there are no true conservative candidates out there. The last conservative republican we had was Ronald Reagan who truly believed in less government. George H. Bush was certainly no conservative. I would even go as far to say that he was a little to the left. George W. Bush wasn't a conservative. He put on a good hat and tried to convince us that he was. But his overspending and pandering across the aisle tells a different story. John McCain was by no means a conservative. Sarah Palin was the most conservative out of all of them (very Reganesk) and the "moderate Republicans" condemned her for that. Even today, "insiders" are starting the scuttlebutt about her. They'll make sure she's a nobody by 2012 for sure.

Conservatism doesn't rest solely on the abortion issue or religious rights, yet that is what the left has made it about. Conservatism is exactly what our founding fathers wanted it to be - less government. If you continue to put free food out in the bird house, the birds will crap all over your porch. Basically, that's where we are today. We've fed the birds so much that they are crapping all over us. Since Jane and Joe take handouts, it MUST be okay for me to take it to. People, we're heading down the road to disaster. Self sufficiency is a thing of the past. We're creating a country of losers. Equality??? No. That's not what we're doing. We're weakening our strong. I, for one, am going to read every book I can get my hands on regarding Jeffersonian politics and spout it to every young person I know. Perhaps in the next generation, the conservative movement will reinvent itself.

We can only hope.....